AN INTERESTING ENCOUNTER …
July 11, 2021
I posted in a secret Facebook group a story about an encounter that I had with a young man yesterday. A reader encouraged me to blog about it, and I have been thinking a lot about the incident, so I am putting a slightly more detailed version of the story here.
Yesterday, I went out to brunch with friends and was walking home by myself on a very busy street in Washington D.C. It was a nice day, and there was a lot of foot traffic.
On the way, I encountered a young man (I pegged him as about 25) who was canvassing for the ACLU. I went up to him and gave him a long lecture about “gender identity.” I told him (truthfully) that I used to work at the ACLU and that I had written its 2014 report on police militarization. I told him how disappointed I am in the ACLU and its advancement of “gender identity,” and said that the ACLU's work on “gender identity” harms women and girls. He said, "No it doesn't." I said, "I promise you that it does," and started to walk away. He yelled, "I hope you feel good about yourself for telling off a 19-year-old intern!" Then I continued on my way.
I turned the corner, and thought, "You know, I really DON'T feel good about myself for telling off a 19-year-old intern." Even if I deplore the ACLU’s advancement of “gender identity,” I have no way of knowing whether he even understands the issue. Here was a teenager who was choosing to spend his Saturday afternoon in the hot sun, engaging with total strangers about political issues. I was being counter-productive by simply lecturing him. I stopped, turned, and walked back to where he was standing.
Then this happened:
Me: "Okay. You asked me a question, which is whether I feel good about myself for telling off a 19-year-old intern. It's a good question, and I'm glad you asked it, and the answer is no, I don't."
He nodded in thanks and waited for what was coming next. I’m not sure why, but in that moment, I sensed that I was looking at a pretty thoughtful and intelligent person.
Me: “Can I ask you something?”
Him: [nods]
Me: "Do you know much about the issue I was referring to?"
Him: "You mean like IDs and bathrooms and stuff?"
Me: "Yeah, basically."
Him: "Isn't this all just about equity and inclusion?"
[I told him about once encountering a man in a women's room in a nearby restaurant and about the Wi Spa incident, using graphic language.]
Me: "Do you think that women should have to include men in women-only spaces on the basis of 'gender identity'?"
Him: "Well, no, but isn't this about supporting transgender people?"
Me: "Okay, what do you mean by 'transgender'?"
Him: "Um, someone whose gender is different from the one they were assigned at birth?"
Me: "And what do you mean by 'gender'?"
Him: "Okay, look. Let me level with you. I don't really understand this issue. I'm a registered Republican and the reason that I am working for the ACLU is that I am angry at my party for trampling on voting rights."
After I picked my jaw up off of the sidewalk, I said, "Okay, let me get this straight. You are a male registered Republican working for the ACLU because you are mad at your party for trampling on voting rights, and I am a female registered Democrat who used to work for the ACLU and I am mad at my party for trampling on women's rights."
Him: "Sounds about right. It's a strange world we're living in."
I agreed about that part and said, "I'll leave you alone and let you get back to work, but let me just ask you for a favor. Please look into this issue further, look closely at what the ACLU is doing on this topic, and decide for yourself whether 'gender identity' makes any sense, and whether it is fair to women and girls." He promised that he would.
Me: “I’m glad I came back. Thanks for talking about it.”
Him: “Thank you for the information.”
This kid registered to vote and, for his own reasons, chose the Republican party. And yet he is angry that the Republican party is suppressing voting rights, so he reached out to the organization that he saw as working the hardest to protect voting rights, knowing that he would probably be working with a lot of people who do not share his politics. That’s a good thing. And there I was, telling him that I am a Democrat who hates what the ACLU is doing on “gender identity.” I bet that surprised him a bit.
We never know when a brief encounter with a stranger might make a difference.